One of the best ways to make yourself feel like crap is to compare yourself to someone else. Comparison leaves no room for self love, and it certainly doesn’t help build relationships between people or groups of people. We do this everyday in our personal lives, it‘s hard to deal with all those negative remarks we make about our bodies, intelligence, or abilities. Worse than that though, are the comparisons we make in the workplace/in school. Have you ever looked at your classmate/co-worker and thought “I wish I could be more like that.” Or maybe you feel like those others have set the bar so high that being ‘good’ feels impossible to reach? I want to tell you that those same people you have been comparing yourself to have probably done the same with you.
Personally, I split coverage with one other CCLS for my area in the hospital. I feel like I am constantly coparing myself to them, sometimes in the strangest of ways too. This person is bubbley and very outgoing, exactly how one could describe a Type B personality. Basically, the exact opposite of me. When I first started I made comparisons between myself and them ALL the time, and I never matched up. This mindset had me feeling low, no matter how many great interventions I had. The day the lightbulb went off in my head was when this same person shared their experience of comparison with me. In their mind, everything that I had been thinking made me l'ess' was the opposite. Instead of being new and different, they described me as having a fresh perspective that was making a positive impact. Instead of being a crazy neat freak, my co-worker expressed gratefulness that I could organize our supplies. We couldn’t be more different, but that is such a GOOD thing! If we operated the same ways there would be no room for growth or change.
It is such a strugle to cancel those comparisons, but just because your journey, or working style, or personality is different doesn’t mean you are any less. All it means is that you are different... big whoop. Sometimes I feel like these comparisons are the adult version of Piaget’s personal fable. Instead of believing that everyone is focused on us, we believe that we are never measuring up to everyone else. We try to standardize ourselves and always end up falling short. The best thing about canceling your comparisons is that it gives you permission to be your best you, unapologetically.
-K
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